The Power of Self Agency
Updated: Jul 26, 2020
It has been quiet around here and I figured you probably thought I ghosted you. 😩
I have been in a whirlwind of self actualization. I call it a whirlwind because it reminds me of the winds of change in the tornado Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz got caught up with in Kansas. I felt the spiraling of everything going on around me. The news headlines, friends and loved ones of friends passing away suddenly, navigating my own relationships, growing pains of leading my businesses, all while maintaining a sense of inner stability both spiritually and mentally.
So much information and downloads have been coming to me and I tend to do what I always do when being swirled about with new revelations and insights.
I get quiet to hear.
I go within to process.
I release tears and attachments.
It's all a cyclical process of inner healing, really. The truth is, sometimes I get overwhelmed with the enormity of my souls calling. It feels far too grand of an experience for little ol' me. I recently led a 21 Day Experience of Pursuing Purpose with 14 individuals in June and would you believe that I felt nervous and ill equipped at times to lead? I had to get myself together quick and remind myself of my own strength and power, cause let me tell you, it got really real! Nonetheless, on the other side of that whirlwind of change I felt so aligned and alive with my purpose. (So take and shove it, fear!)
But now, I realize how ridiculous it sounded to want to shrink in fear by doing something I've been called to do. The idea of it being way too grand is laughable, considering how grand the One is who created me. So like Dorothy, I had to go and fill my baskets to prepare for the journey ahead into the unknown... knowing that what is on the other side of the trip will be worth it. Knowing that somewhere over the rainbow, I would fly, soar even, like the bluebirds.
Have you ever felt thrown about in the winds of self growth? Tossed to and fro' in your questions of self resiliency? What is your usual 'go -to' when you know you are being forced to level up? What lessons do you take from the experience?
One of the messages or rather answers I bluntly received intuitively throughout all of this whole experience was :
"no one is coming to save you."
When I first heard it in my mind, I wrote it down in my journal and circled it for emphasis. I meditated and prayed about what that meant for me and then the answer became clear one weekend when I participated in a rebirthing exercise for groundedness. In the hole of the earth where I was submerged, I was shown a reel of my life, spaces in time where I relinquished the reigns when it go to be too much. Times where I took my hands off the wheel because I thought I was not equipped. Times where I wanted to walk away from my healing because the wounds seemed too big to look at. Also, the times where I glorified in situations that were a fantasy I had placed in my mind to deflect from the responsibility of being capable of my own self agency. The message was clear. In order to thrive and succeed: I have to put myself in the position to save myself.
To be powerful in your own self agency means to be the fiercest advocate for your own well being. It is the power and ability to filter out what does not serve your highest purpose and make room for everything that does. It is the practice of clear thinking and choosing what is best for you in your life... being guided by the wisdom within to shape the realities that exist outside of us. It means harnessing the virtues of the land of Oz: returning home to your self, having courage (discipline of action), being led by your heart (the hub of devotion) and using your brain (unlocking the path of knowledge). Each step on the yellow brick road is a way forward, onward in the journey, tearing down illusions and strengthening your resolve to build your own resiliency to save yourself...even in the tornadoes of life.